From: howardk@aa.wl.com
Subject: Re: coven mess
Date: 1 Feb 94 18:05:11 -0500

natcin@wyatt.ksu.ksu.edu (Cinnamon L Leslie) writes:

> 	Some friends of mine and I are getting together and trying to
> start a coven.  We are experiencing majors problems but...somehow we
> don't break up and the problems work themselves out.  It is just
> that big problems keep coming back up and we(small portion of the
> group) are being confused.  Please moral support or suggestions
> welcome and begged for (getting down on knees).  We just are not
> sure if it is what it started out as.  Cin

A few details would help if you'd like some suggestions...  For
instance, what sorts of topics seem to provoke fights?  Is it the same
people all the time, or the same combinations of people?  Are there
accepted roles in the group, ex. a facilitator, a leader, a scribe?
Have you agreed upon goals for the group - i.e., what do each of you
see as the goals of the coven - why are you trying to form a coven
together?  I don't mean this facetiously (sp!?), but very seriously.
If you each have a different vision of what you would like to do, it
may be hard to reconcile the different desires, especially if you
haven't specifically talked about it.  Are you a group of relative
strangers, or do you know each other?  If the latter, in what contexts
- i.e., do you have anything in common other than trying to set up a
coven?  How do the personalities interact?  Do you have some folks who
tend to be quiet boilers, and some who are 'jump in and talk over
others'?

This may all sound very cold and calculated, but it is necessary to
pay some attention to 'process' and 'people' issues, as well as to the
task you are trying to accomplish.  Particularly since forming a coven
usually entails acquiring some level of trust :-)

There are a number of theories about team-building (which is in
essence what you are trying to do), and they suggest that teams, or
groups generally, who are trying to accomplish a task, go through a
series of stages of development.  In general, you can't skip a stage,
although the group may disintegrate before moving to the next level.

The first (in one model called 'Forming') involves getting to know
each other.  It's characterized by cool politeness, little trust, and
a general 'checking each other out'.  There are specific activities
which can help accomplish this.  The second ('Storming') is a period
where enough interactions have occurred that folks begin to form likes
and dislikes, establish territory, take ownership in particular tasks,
and decide on alliegences (sp).  It's characterized by lots of
fighting, backbiting, and confusion.  These first two stages usually
require a strong leader to get through relatively productively.

The third stage is 'Norming', where the group starts to identify
itself as a group, and everyone buys into a common vision of the goal.
They work well together, communication is open and frequent, and
members develop definite loyaties to the group, rather than to
individuals.  The leader steps back out of the way, as the group is
taking control and ownership for its activities.  The fourth stage is
'Performing', where the communication is almost telepathic, the group
accomplishes anything and everything it wants to, the individuals mesh
their talents together so seamlessly that there is complimenting of
strengths and the team can do considerably better than any of its
members alone.  There is no need and no desire for a leader here.  The
team facilitates itself, and works like a 'smoothly oiled machine'
<G>.

This stuff is usually applied to business settings, but it is as valid
when forming a strategic business unit as when forming a coven, or any
other group where people need or want to get together to accomplish a
common goal.

So, after having carried on at great length <G>, if any of the above
might help, I have some more of this stuff up my sleeve.  I'd be happy
to post or email, as folks wish, or shut up.  I can do that too ;-)

				Walking a team-built path,

						Jaguar  =^^=


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Opinions?  All mine.  And plenty more where those came from.
I'm this Jaguar.
So much chocolate, so little time....
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