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blakes7-d Digest Volume 99 : Issue 55
Today's Topics:
[B7L] Arkaroo Made A Boo-Boo!
Re: [B7L] Flat Robin continues! by Arkaroo
Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
Re: [B7L] Refractions on the Net
Re: [B7L] clones and Auron
Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
[B7L] hodge podge - sense of humour and might've-beens
Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
[B7L] Flat Robin Continues, By Arkaroo
RE: [B7L] Flat Robin Continues, By Arkaroo
Re: [B7L] Avon's background-- speculation
RE: [B7L] Flat Robin Continues, By Arkaroo
Re: [B7L] Avon's background-- speculation
Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
[B7L] Re [ B7L] Limericks (not)
Re:[B7L]hodge-podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
Re: [B7L] Refractions on the Net
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 18:34:17 PST
From: "Penny Dreadful" <pdreadful@hotmail.com>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: [B7L] Arkaroo Made A Boo-Boo!
Message-ID: <19990208023417.7931.qmail@hotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
Substitute "Jenna" for all instances of "Cally" in previous Round-Robin
installment.
______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 20:19:37 -0700
From: Helen Krummenacker <avona@jps.net>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: Re: [B7L] Flat Robin continues! by Arkaroo
Message-ID: <36BE57C9.3A0F@jps.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
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Thanks for joining us, 'Arkaroo'and since you've claimed the next
chapter, too, we'll see how your scheme unfolds. <g>
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 18:52:45 PST
From: "Sally Manton" <smanton@hotmail.com>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
Message-ID: <19990208025245.29924.qmail@hotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
On the subject of Avon, and getting away with murder, from Avona:
>So they are left with: kill him, ask him nicely to express his views
>more politely, or put up with him.
Or dump him. If they could. And that begs the question of the balance
between his undoubted usefulness as a expert on what appears to be
everything <g> and his abrasive, divisive personality.
>Why option number 2 was never tried, I'm not quite sure.
He also has a quite evil sense of humour, and any such request - no
matter how carefully worded - would probably result in him wanting to
see how quickly he could drive everyone in sight to distraction.
Poisonous politeness is an art he probably knows too much about already.
>I find it interesting that you didn't include Vila or the women on your
>list. Is that because you think fisticuffs is the appropriate way to
>resolves issues of bad manners?
No, no, no - I just stopped after the first three that came to mind.
Actually, your comment surprised me, though I can see why you
asked...but I cannot and never could see Blake even come close to
hitting Avon, no matter how provoked. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think
the thought would even occur to him. (Someone tell me if I *am* wrong,
by the way). Here I suppose I was thinking of the fact that, when
necessary, he can actually *make* Avon shut up. (Blake can be every bit
as arrogant and sarcastic as Avon when he wants to). He doesn’t do it
often, but he’s probably the the only one who can.
With Gan, as I said, that bit in the Web struck me - it was far worse,
I think, than the insults that, I agree, tend to slide off Gan’s back.
But the way Avon pushed Gan out of his way, without so much as a look
let alone a word, wasn’t thinkingly rude, it wasn’t calculated, it was
totally dismissive (and Gan’s look afterward was the nearest he ever
came to a glare back).
>After all, Blake, Tarrant, and Gan never appeared to be hurt by Avon's
comments,
Hurt, no - exasperated, sometimes infuriated, however...
>so why should they care? (I've been in groups where insulting people
was a sign of friendship) Vila, on the other hand, could get his
feelings hurt.
I think Vila is tougher than that; he also took Avon’s measure faster
than anyone else, and gives as good as he gets, quite often starting it
- in fact, the Avon/Vila Mutual Disparagement Society is the nearest I
see to what you say about a sign of friendship. (They’d both deny it, of
course.)
As far as the women are concerned, I haven’t seen a lot of 3rd season
episodes, but from the others, he did rein in the vitriol, even with
Jenna (who like Vila, sometimes starts the slanging match - so why is
it Avon always gets the blame???). To go back to the point about
feelings, it appears that people who Avon thought he could hurt (Cally &
Dayna) he eased up on. He would never believe that he *could* hurt
Vila's feelings.
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------------------------------
Date: Sun, 7 Feb 1999 20:48:37 +0000
From: "Terry Owen" <owen6511@earthlink.net>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: Re: [B7L] Refractions on the Net
Message-Id: <199902080253.SAA23278@harrier.prod.itd.earthlink.net>
Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT
An FYI for those who find reading 2-columned pdf zines tiring (this
includes me, even though I am an Acrobat proponent) - Adobe has a
plug-in that makes it easier for the visually-impaired to read
Acrobat files. But it is nice even for those of us who are sighted
also, it works by opening a window with just the text from the
document. (And saves editors lots of re-working? <g>)
This plug-in is only available for Win3.1/95/NT, though.
http://access.adobe.com/access_plugin.html
The Windows 3.1file itself is at:
ftp://ftp.adobe.com/pub/adobe/acrobatreader/win/3.x/
plugins/beta/accs16b2.exe
Terry Owen
On 6 Feb 99 Kathryn Andersen wrote:
> But, most importantly of all, I have put Refractions #1 up on the
> net. You can now download it in PDF (Acrobat) format. (check out the
> Refractions page). And before I get a storm of complaints about how
> horrible PDF format is, how people can't read it because the type is
> too small, and how they have to go up and down for double-columned
> pages (which Refractions is), I have to tell you that I spent a
> great deal of time tuning the PDF files so that all the stories are
> *articles*, so you just click and it will follow the columns
> automatically, filling the window at the optimal size. Okay? And
> this lot of PDF files is smaller than the lot I did for Refractions
> #2, because I did all the titles as WordArt, and didn't embed any
> fonts at all. So instead of being 4.7 Meg altogether, it's 1.5 Meg
> altogether. Okay?
-=-=- owen6511@earthlink.net -=-=-
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 02:17:02 -0000
From: "Neil Faulkner" <N.Faulkner@tesco.net>
To: "lysator" <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] clones and Auron
Message-ID: <003901be530d$67697f80$d91dac3e@default>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
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D.Rose wrote:
> This is a theme that interests me immensely. My own personal theory, for
>which I'm still marshalling arguments and weighting counterarguements, is
that
>during one of the early outward expansions of Terrans, cloning technology
is
>developed to the level noted here. I suspect the CloneMasters were created
as
>a backlash to control the potentially dangerous technology, and thus the
>Federation lost this knowledge, or at least had their access to it limitted
by
>the Clone Masters.
Given that we're on the threshold of cloning human beings right here and now
in the real world (if it hasn't already been done), it's ridiculous to think
that it might be beyond the Federation's capabilities. Comments by Blake in
The Web seem to suggest that the restrictions on cloning and genetic
engineering in general are not technological, but legal. And probably
engrained into the popular psyche as well. The Clonemasters would then be
the biotech equivalent of a Swiss bank - legal with them, if not with us.
> It would seem the accelerated development is a nessacary part of the
>process, for whatever reason. I rather shudder to think what this does
>mentally and emotionally to the clones. An alleviating factor would be the
>psionic enhancement, which could serve as a surrogate for the maternal
>presence, so to speak.
I doubt if the accelerated development is _necessary_, more likely it's an
additional feature that can be incorporated if desired. And I wouldn't
expect psionic enhancement to be an automatic corollary of cloning - again
that would be a separate development. And don't you mean a surrogate for
the _parental_ presence?
I touched on the issue of cloning and accelerated development in one of
those many many stories I never finished. It might be worth quoting a bit
here. An Administration detective is investigating a possible cloning
crime:
"The bulk of each body was what the medical profession called a long pig, a
non-individuated cadaver, the archetype of human anatomy. Marakov had never
heard of such a thing before, but then she had never considered how surgeons
might be trained ... A long pig could be grown in as little as eighteen
hours. It was, by legal requirement, non-sentient; technically alive but
totally insensate. The heart beat, blood flowed, lungs emptied and filled,
but no thought disturbed the withered brain inside the skull ... Marakov had
never before appreciated accelerated maturation technology. If a mature
adult non-person could be cultured in as little as eighteen hours, then so
could a mature adult copy of a real individual. With eighteen hours
experience of life. One big baby, the tech she interviewed had said. You'd
still have to teach it (he meant 'him' or 'her', but said 'it') to walk, to
talk, the lot. Don't expect a healthily balanced individual at the end of
it. You'd have to slow down growth and development to something more like
normal for that. And what is there, she had asked, to stop anyone with the
equipment and raw material to clone themselves a private army? The tech had
smiled in the way of those privy to unvoiced possibilities. You, he said,
meaning the law. Only the law. Just as the law prevented murder."
Neil
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 01:55:57 -0000
From: "Neil Faulkner" <N.Faulkner@tesco.net>
To: "lysator" <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
Message-ID: <003801be530d$66ba05a0$d91dac3e@default>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
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Sally wrote:
>An interesting point...why *does* everyone let him get away with it?
Get away with what, exactly? Avon's behaviour, on the whole, is merely
irritating, and well within the boundaries of the tolerable. The whole idea
of Avon being a thorn in Blake's side is a gross exagerration. And whilst
he may not have been a team player, he was still part of the team. He
pulled his weight, he did his share, and when the chips were really down,
they could depend on him.
If anyone was going to put backs up big time, surely it would have been
Vila?
Must go, another Billy Goat Gruff is approaching...
Neil
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 19:01:31 PST
From: "Joanne MacQueen" <j_macqueen@hotmail.com>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
Message-ID: <19990208030131.26231.qmail@hotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
>Must go, another Billy Goat Gruff is approaching...
>Neil
Well, you learn something new everyday. <grin> That wasn't taught in
Trolling 101. Thanks, Neil. Now I know what sound I have to listen
for...
Regards
Joanne
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------------------------------
Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 20:54:18 -0700
From: Helen Krummenacker <avona@jps.net>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
Message-ID: <36BE5FEA.3045@jps.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Sally Manton wrote:
>
> On the subject of Avon, and getting away with murder, from Avona:
>
> >So they are left with: kill him, ask him nicely to express his views
> >more politely, or put up with him.
>
> Or dump him. If they could. And that begs the question of the balance
> between his undoubted usefulness as a expert on what appears to be
> everything <g> and his abrasive, divisive personality.
Good point, I forgot to mention stranding him, or perhaps, simply
'accepting his resignation'. I suppose I didn't think about it for the
same reason I didn't give too much credit to killing him. Either way,
you are out of a guy who has not only computer skills and technology
expertise enough to do fix-it jobs on alien technology and even cobble
together a 'gadget' of his own, but lightning reflexes and a tendancy to
knock you out of harm's way only seconds after a caustic comment. The
kind of guy who will refuse to go to a planet becuase he isn't
expendible, and then goes down later to fetch everyone else who was
getting expended. And while his personality was abrasive, divisive, I
question. He attemped at times to undermine Blake's authority, yet it
seemed like often the reaction to the abrasive man insulting them as
being mindless followers made them cling more stubbornly to "let's help
Blake."
>
> >Why option number 2 was never tried, I'm not quite sure.
>
> He also has a quite evil sense of humour, and any such request - no
> matter how carefully worded - would probably result in him wanting to
> see how quickly he could drive everyone in sight to distraction.
> Poisonous politeness is an art he probably knows too much about already.
True, true! Now I wish this experiment had been done! Thqat devastatine
wit applied to _politely_ making everyone else look like a jackass. It
would be one of their funniest episodes, a snigger a minute.
>
> >I find it interesting that you didn't include Vila or the women on your
> >list. Is that because you think fisticuffs is the appropriate way to
> >resolves issues of bad manners?
>
> No, no, no - I just stopped after the first three that came to mind.
> Actually, your comment surprised me, though I can see why you
> asked...but I cannot and never could see Blake even come close to
> hitting Avon, no matter how provoked. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think
> the thought would even occur to him. (Someone tell me if I *am* wrong,
> by the way). Here I suppose I was thinking of the fact that, when
> necessary, he can actually *make* Avon shut up. (Blake can be every bit
> as arrogant and sarcastic as Avon when he wants to). He doesn’t do it
> often, but he’s probably the the only one who can.
Good point. And I enjoy Blake one upping Avon.
>
> With Gan, as I said, that bit in the Web struck me - it was far worse,
> I think, than the insults that, I agree, tend to slide off Gan’s back.
> But the way Avon pushed Gan out of his way, without so much as a look
> let alone a word, wasn’t thinkingly rude, it wasn’t calculated, it was
> totally dismissive (and Gan’s look afterward was the nearest he ever
> came to a glare back).
I need to re-watch this before I comment. I should like to examine the
circumstances. I am generally polite but sommetimes I find it very
difficult to get out of other people's way, and very big people seem to
think they don't need to move when they are occupying the only route
through which a small person can achieve the goal they need to get to.
But until I watch it, I will assume you are correct and Avon was just
being obnoxious.
>
> >After all, Blake, Tarrant, and Gan never appeared to be hurt by Avon's
> comments,
>
> Hurt, no - exasperated, sometimes infuriated, however...
And that's when they'd rejoin with their own acid comments. And without
the obnoxiousness, this wouldn't be the series we kno wand love.
Honestly, _all_ of them could be rude, although Avon sort of set the
standard... which I suppose goes back to my days of high school trig and
calculus, where the students showed they respected each other by
constantly telling them what boneheads they were. If they were
unfailingly polite, they didn't consider you intelligent enough to
banter with... is it a 'geek' thing?
>
> >so why should they care? (I've been in groups where insulting people
> was a sign of friendship) Vila, on the other hand, could get his
> feelings hurt.
>
> I think Vila is tougher than that; he also took Avon’s measure faster
> than anyone else, and gives as good as he gets, quite often starting it
> - in fact, the Avon/Vila Mutual Disparagement Society is the nearest I
> see to what you say about a sign of friendship. (They’d both deny it, of
> course.)
And what I've found fascinating is that when Vila gets mad at him, Avon
turns his face out of everyones sight and gives a smile.. He likes
hearing the mouse roar.
>
> As far as the women are concerned, I haven’t seen a lot of 3rd season
> episodes, but from the others, he did rein in the vitriol, even with
> Jenna (who like Vila, sometimes starts the slanging match - so why is
> it Avon always gets the blame???).
There ya go!
To go back to the point about
> feelings, it appears that people who Avon thought he could hurt (Cally &
> Dayna) he eased up on. He would never believe that he *could* hurt
> Vila's feelings.
I tend to agree, now that you've reviewed it for me.
--Avona
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 19:22:48 PST
From: "Joanne MacQueen" <j_macqueen@hotmail.com>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: [B7L] hodge podge - sense of humour and might've-beens
Message-ID: <19990208032248.21474.qmail@hotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
Sally said:
>He also has a quite evil sense of humour, and any such request - >no
matter how carefully worded - would probably result in him wanting >to
see how quickly he could drive everyone in sight to distraction.
>Poisonous politeness is an art he probably knows too much about
>already.
How true is that last sentence. However, I wouldn't call the sense of
humour evil, merely off-beat (his comment on Dortmun's death in "Mission
To Destiny" is a good illustration - I can't help smiling, but I'm sure
I shouldn't be, under the circumstances).
>>After all, Blake, Tarrant, and Gan never appeared to be hurt by
>>Avon's comments,
>Hurt, no - exasperated, sometimes infuriated, however...
With the qualifier that Tarrant seemed to spend most of the third series
exasperated by Avon, full stop, so it wouldn't have needed a calculated
insult to irritate the junior Toothy One. Senior and junior Toothy Ones
get rather tetchy rather easily during that time - how about Tarrant as
the sort of person Avon might have been if he'd not chosen a certain
direction?
Of course, Tarrant has a streak of idealism extant, and I've never
considered Avon a long-term candidate for "what if" syndrome. But there
is nothing to stop Avon recognising something of himself in his younger
years that he had lost since then.
Then again, I could simply be generating a lot of hot air though a
disinclination to get back to work after lunch...<sigh>
Regards (to the Godmother, as much as anyone else)
Joanne
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------------------------------
Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 21:06:44 -0700
From: Helen Krummenacker <avona@jps.net>
To: lysator <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
Message-ID: <36BE62D4.2C0A@jps.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
While agreeing with Neil's assessment of Avon, I have to take up Vila's
defense.
> If anyone was going to put backs up big time, surely it would have been
> Vila?
Being part of the team, you mentioned in Avon's behalf. What about Vila.
I can't say I've actually counted, but he's been on a LARGE number of
missions down to hostile environments. He doesn't usually get the choice
of yes or no, either. It's "Vila, suit up." If he protests, they point
out the need for his skills to get into a locked area. Or just tell him
to do it. When he doesn't go down, he's usually Mr. Teleport. Okay, he's
failed occaisionally. Need to use the loo once, and left the station as
a result (can anyone blame him?) Another time, he went to Freedom City;
Avon's idea, so the blame has to be spread. Other times he has been
clearly at fault: for drinking, for instance. Drinking and cowardice are
major character flaws, but he tends to make up for them with useful
skills, loyalty, affability, the addition of a completely different
point of view from the others, and sudden flashes of courage or
intelligence.
But yes, his faults have bothered certain people enough that they
threatened to space him.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 20:16:56 PST
From: "Penny Dreadful" <pdreadful@hotmail.com>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Cc: egomoo@geocities.com
Subject: [B7L] Flat Robin Continues, By Arkaroo
Message-ID: <19990208041659.3560.qmail@hotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
***
The Liberator continued its unscheduled descent. A yellow sheet of
melting waste plumed behind them, the rapidly melting urine glacier
protecting the Liberator from the heat of atmospheric entry. From
Jenna's position, flattened against a wall in front of the main
view-screen, she could see the ground rushing towards her. A muffled
wail from the teleport room confirmed Vila's awareness of the situation.
She closed her eyes and braced for impact.
***
With a sound not unlike a firecracker going off in a treacle pudding,
the Liberator walloped into the Ankh-Morpork Bog at an astonishing
speed. Sheets of displaced peat flew outwards in every direction,
raining lumps of sphagnum and the preserved corpses of unlucky
sacrificees on the surrounding area, as the Liberator plowed nose-first
into the clearing on which the viewing platform, and the unfortunate
Lord Radish-Culpepper et al, rested. Finally, it came to rest at the
southern edge of the bog, nestled against a grove of Eel Trees. Little
pings and larger pops emerged from the still red-hot hull of the mighty
ship, as it began to sink slowly into the soft peat.
Outside the bog, two disheveled shapes emerged from beneath a small
shanty constructed of wattle and daub (with an emphasis on the daub).
They regarded the scene before them with interest but little fear. One
was quite tall, clad in the shredded remnants of potato sacks. The other
was a short, drooling man clad only in a jock-strap made of brambles.
'I reckon we've got another star fallen in the Bog,' grunted Todd
Nipples, adjusting his potato-sack tunic.
'Buggerit, millenium hand and shrimp,' said Foul Young Ron, drool
running down his chin.
Todd sniffed the air. 'I say, old chap, did you have another accident?
Smells like old 'Sticky Bladder' Eckwhit after he was crushed by that
pregnant mare last Soul Cake Tuesday.' Tightening his rags about him,
Todd began walking towards the steaming crater. 'Anyways, there's always
lots of good eating on a star. Let's get going.'
'Buggerit.'
'Exactly.'
Through the underbrush, the pair could hear the sounds of an animal
pushing its way past the tangles of Poke-Bush and Strangle-Vine. With
many a guttural sound, a hideous brown figure lurched from the thicket.
It was covered with a mass of peat, oil, thorns, and what appeared to be
aeons old uric acid crystals.
'Buh... fuh!' the figure grunted, waving his arms back towards the
steaming crater. 'M'nuh uh suh tuh buh-duh-BOOM!'
'Oh dear,' said Todd. 'Really?'
'Muh guh whuh HUH guh duh? Muh nuh uh Vuhuh.' said the figure, folding
gently to the ground.
'I'm quite sure that would hurt, Mr... Vila, you said?' asked Todd. He
held out a solid steel flask, oddly corroded, to Vila. ' Here, have a
taste of this, lad. It'll put you back on your feet.'
Vila opened the flask gingerly, and peered at the gently steaming
contents. 'Whuh... I mean, what is this, anyways?'
'It be Scumble, me boy. Good stuff -- lots of apples in it. Among other
things.'
'Well, then, mustn't be impolite.' Raising the flask in a toast, he
downed the contents. Gently belching, he handed the empty flask back to
Todd. 'It's quite nice. Very... appley.'
Todd looked at him in horror. 'Good lord, man, you just drank five cubic
inches of Scumble! Why hasn't your sphincter fallen out?'
Vila looked at him oddly. 'Eh?'
Having finally extracted all remaining plugs of peat from her eyes,
ears, nose and throat, Jenna stumbled forward from the underbrush
towards the shanty.
'Listen,' said Jenna, 'We need to get that ship out of that bog
immediately. If the Federation detected that energy-flare when our main
propulsion units blew... well, best not to think of that. Excuse me,
Mister...?'
'Nipples. Todd Nipples. Or even, Todd 'Small Ears' Nipples, if you
like.'
'Um. Well, Mister Nipples, do you know where we might be able to find
some... help?'
'Och, thas no problem. There's a small tavern just down that there road,
just on the edge of the city. You can probably even find some wizards
there; they're the ones in the red dresses and pointy hats. They'll help
you, without a doubt.'
Jenna smiled with visible relief. 'That's good to hear. Vila, shall we
go?'
'Eh? What? Who said that?' said Vila, staggering in small circles. 'I've
gone blind!'
'Try looking through your eyes, lad,' said Todd helpfully.
Vila blinked thoughtfully and peered about the clearing. 'Oh, yes, that
works much better. Thanks, little boy. Care for an ice lolly?' he asked,
reaching into his trousers.
'Not really. Me and Foul Young Ron've got to start field-dressing that
star, right?'
'Buggerit.'
'Quite. Good luck, haha, I'll need it!' squawked Vila, starting off in a
haphazard canter towards the city-gates. Jenna followed, occasionally
plucking Vila from the bramble patches.
Forty-five minutes later, Jenna and Vila stood outside a rather
startling example of tavern-ness. A low-roofed, rather sunken building,
it squatted in the muck around it like a pimple on the buttock of the
world. A sign hanging from what they assumed was the front read, 'The
Pullet and Whippet'.
'Jenna, you'd better wait outside. This could get dangerous,' said Vila,
tightening his holster.
'Vila, you really are a complete and utter...'
'No, no, don't mention it. Better that I die so that my compatriots
might bring down our oppressors, free mankind, and...'
'What was in the flask he gave you, Vila?' asked Jenna.
'What flask?' said Vila, as he walked into a wall.
'Listen, Vila, maybe I should...'
'Oh no, sweet Jenna, I shall be back immediately with dozens of willing
volunteers.' Extracting himself from the wall, Vila stepped throught the
door of the Pullet and Whippet tentatively, carefully examining his feet
to make sure they continued in the right direction.
Vila had been in his share of bars in his life (actually, more than his
share of bars; more like the population of Earth's share of bars), so he
was immediately able to classify this as Urban, Low-Income, Lower-
Cleanliness. The only lighting came from smouldering tallow candles set
atop half-full tins of tar and oily rags. Tables consisted of livestock
crates, some still occupied, overturned and surrounded by cut logs as
seats. No-one seated at these tables seemed the sort to be of much help,
tending morphically towards either 'filthy drunk' or just 'filthy'.
He walked towards a red-robed, large-hatted figure seated at the bar
between a short, large-bearded man wielding a well-worn axe, and an
individual who appeared to be made mostly of snippets of fruit leather
stapled together.
'Excuse me, sir or madam,' said Vila, tapping the figure on its
shoulder. 'I was wondering if I could ask for your assistance in a small
matter.' The figure clenched his/her shoulder and turned around,
revealing a pasty, fearful face, covered with patchy red hair and
ill-concealed beneath a crushed pointed hat with the word 'WIZZARD'
written on it with peeling rhinestones.
'What is it?' asked the wizard apprehensively. Vila stared at the visage
before him in scumble-clouded astonishment, his eyes rolling about in
independent directions.
'It's... it's like looking in a mirror,' whispered Vila, running his
fingers through the wizard's moustache. 'Goodness, I've let myself go.'
The wizard slapped Vila's probing digits away. 'Stop that. You haven't
told me who you are, and I always demand introductions before letting
people touch my facial hair.'
'It's like this... um... Me and my mates were flying a... sky chariot,
and, um, the gods smashed us down here, into a really deep bog, and,
well.... we've got a very important political action to take care of.'
'You mean you were in a orbital vehicle that came too close the Sun,
plummeted into the atmosphere, buried itself in an extremely unstable
area, and you're now looking for able-bodied volunteers to help extract
it.'
'Well... yes.'
'And you and your comrades are heavily armed and completely ruthless,
not to mention dedicated to a obscure political cause which involves
killing those who aren't for you in painful and/or disfiguring ways.'
'Um... yes, that as well.'
'You know what this sounds like a matter for?'
'No.'
'Someone else. Look, a pregnant mare!' cried the wizard, gesticulating
wildly towards a point behind Vila's head.
Vila turned around, his eyes wide with terror. 'Where? Where?' At the
sound of flesh meeting wood, he looked around to see Avon standing over
the prone form of the wizard, idly twitching a rather serious looking
cosh. Dragging the wizard along by his ankles, Avon made his way to Vila
at the bar.
'You see, Vila,' said Avon, 'these people don't respond well to
reasonable requests.'
'I see that, now,' said Vila, staring at Avon in apprehension.
Avon peered at the stunned mage closely. 'I can see a family resemblance
here, Vila. Close set eyes, rat-like appearance... The universe must
truly be without guidance if it allowed two of you to exist.'
'Eh?'
'Never mind. Let's get back to the business at hand; I have some people
outside I'd like you to meet. Try not to act so much like yourself.'
[Arkaroo says it's someone else's turn now.]
--Penny "I Swear, I Am *Not* Arkaroo" Dreadful
______________________________________________________
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------------------------------
Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 05:49:36 +0100
From: Jacqueline Thijsen <jacqueline.thijsen@cmg.nl>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: RE: [B7L] Flat Robin Continues, By Arkaroo
Message-ID: <39DCDDFD014ED21185C300104BB3F99F10FB01@NL-ARN-MAIL01>
Content-Type: text/plain
ROFLMAO! Welcome, Arkaroo, to the continuing saga of a ship and a turtle,
and what they did together.
Just one question. How did Avon get from Ankh-Morpork (where the librarian
was about to screw off his head) to that little town in the bog? Or were you
planning to leave the explanation to the nasty person who put him in that
situation in the first place (namely me)?
Jacqueline
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 7 Feb 1999 18:42:39 +0100 (BST)
From: Judith Proctor <Judith@blakes-7.demon.co.uk>
To: Lysator List <Blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] Avon's background-- speculation
Message-ID: <Marcel-1.46-0207174239-b49Rr9i@blakes-7.demon.co.uk>
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; CHARSET=US-ASCII
On Sun 07 Feb, Helen Krummenacker wrote:
> Has anyone ever worked with a story where Avon _was_ political himself
> at one time? The Federation thought he was or they wouldn't have
> assigned Bartolomew to 'run' him. Further, he must have been doing
> something to attract their attention _before_ 'Bartolomw' was assigned,
> since B. was Anna, and Avon's motive was supposedly to take her with him
> into the realm of the 'too rich to touch'.
There have been several takes on this. There's a slash plot (sometimes done as
gen too) that comes up now and then which is one of my favourites. Avon and
Blake were lovers or close friends pre-series and when Blake's memory was
altered, Avon's was too. Because Avon didn't have the trauma of seeing his
friends shot all over again, he didn't recover his memory when Blake did.
Depending on the story, Blake does/does not recover his memory of Avon until
something happens to trigger it.
> Why was he afraid of being 'touched' by the Federation? Obviously, he
> was aware of its attitude toward people who upset the status quo in any
> way, and believed that he might be seen as a threat.
Another theory is that in a time of political crisis, any serious crime would be
seen as possibly political. eg. Avon wanted large sums of money - they might
have been afraid that he wanted to supply terrorist groups with it.
Judith's brand new theory is that Anna told them he was political so that she
could stay assigned to his case for longer. If it had been just embezzlement,
they'd have pulled him in as soon as he was detected. If he was political,
they'd leave him watched in case he contacted other people.
> Could it be his reluctance to follow Blake may have had its roots in
> direct experience-- an interest in rebellion/ political dissent that had
> previously been disappointed? It would be very interesting if Avon had
> been attracted to Blake's original Freedom Party (was that the right
> name?) until Blake publically recanted its efforts.
I'm trying to remember the stories that follow Avon and the Freedom party.
There's one in The Way Back (gen), I think there's one in Evasive Maneuvers
(slash). I know there's more, but I can't recall the exact zines.
> Obviously, Avon has always been the sort to try to keep the risks
> minimal by hiding his sympathies, but isn't their a saying about a cynic
> being an idealist with experience?
<smile>
Judith
--
http://www.hermit.org/Blakes7
Redemption 99 - The Blakes 7/Babylon 5 convention
26-28 February 1999, Ashford International Hotel, Kent
http://www.smof.com/redemption/
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 08 Feb 1999 00:46:21 PST
From: "Penny Dreadful" <pdreadful@hotmail.com>
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: RE: [B7L] Flat Robin Continues, By Arkaroo
Message-ID: <19990208084622.18071.qmail@hotmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain
Jacqueline sez:
>Just one question. How did Avon get from Ankh-Morpork (where the
librarian
>was about to screw off his head) to that little town in the bog? Or
were you
>planning to leave the explanation to the nasty person who put him in
that
>situation in the first place (namely me)?
[Penny dons turban, lights incense, greases up the ol' Ouija board and
intones spectrally...]
Arkaroo responds: The 'Pullet and Whippet' is at the outskirts of
Ankh-Morpork (the bog in question being the 'Ankh-Morpork Bog'), and
Avon will undoubtedly recount his harrowing adventure in the Mended Drum
to Vila presently. Riiiight?
[Penny notes that if nothing else she *did* come up with the name of the
bar. So proud...]
______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 09:36:45 EST
From: Tigerm1019@aol.com
To: blakes7@lysator.liu.se
Subject: Re: [B7L] Avon's background-- speculation
Message-ID: <39ad8e87.36bef67d@aol.com>
Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit
In a message dated 99-02-08 02:19:41 EST, Judith wrote:
<< Another theory is that in a time of political crisis, any serious crime
would be
seen as possibly political. eg. Avon wanted large sums of money - they might
have been afraid that he wanted to supply terrorist groups with it.>>
Even if his embezzlement wasn't politically motivated, I think it was on a
grand enough scale to have potetially caused quite a bit of disruption in the
federation banking system.
<< Judith's brand new theory is that Anna told them he was political so that
she
could stay assigned to his case for longer. If it had been just
embezzlement,
they'd have pulled him in as soon as he was detected. If he was political,
they'd leave him watched in case he contacted other people. >>
Interesting idea. It makes me think her behavior was even more selfish in a
way. She herself said that anyone he so much as looked at was hauled in.
Tiger M
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 16:42:18 -0000
From: "Neil Faulkner" <N.Faulkner@tesco.net>
To: "lysator" <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] hodge podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
Message-ID: <002901be5382$2464eb00$d41eac3e@default>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Joanne wrote:
>Well, you learn something new everyday. <grin> That wasn't taught in
>Trolling 101. Thanks, Neil. Now I know what sound I have to listen
>for...
Ah, but by confessing to trolling I was actually disguising the fact that I
wasn't really trolling at all. And I wasn't, really. I meant what I said
about Avon - there's nothing particularly intolerable about his behaviour,
1st/2nd season at any rate. Admittedly his sarcasm is tempered by the with
which he delivers it, and the fact that he is usually right in what he says,
regardless of the way he says it.
As I recall, he made two overt challenges to Blake's self-appointed
authority, both in the 2nd season (at the start of Redemption and at the end
of Trial), and in both cases it was not a public challenge, but privately to
Blake. I think some people might be confusing this private Blake/Avon
dynamic with the public Avon.
Can't say any more right now, I've got a norrible job to go to.
Neil
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 16:36:12 -0000
From: "Neil Faulkner" <N.Faulkner@tesco.net>
To: "lysator" <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: [B7L] Re [ B7L] Limericks (not)
Message-ID: <002801be5382$23c63a00$d41eac3e@default>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="utf-7"
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I am the captain of the Scorpio
(And we're sad to say that we're his crew.)
I'm very very stern and they've quickly come to learn
That whatever I say, they do.
(Yes, he's very very stern, and we've quickly come to learn
That whatever he says we do.)
I've been branded as insane
And emotionally in pain
'Cause I kill without pi-tee.
But no matter what they say
I shall ne'er again betray
Any true humani-tee+ACE-
(What never?)
No, never+ACE-
(What never?)
Well .. hardly ever+ACE-
When a rebel's not about his occupation (occupation)
Planning daring strikes against his mortal foe (mortal foe)
Such as blowing up a vital installation (installation)
Why, he thinks of those he plans to overthrow (overthrow)
It is not that he considers them as evil (them as evil)
Though he must admit that now and then there's some (then there's some)
By and large they're only ordinary people ('nary people)
SO HE'S GOING TO BLOW THE LOT TO KINGDOM COME+ACE-
This one first appeared in AltaZine:
They call me a telepath, alien telepath,
And I can understand why.
Because I'm a telepath, mystical telepath,
That's why I get such naff lines.
I am a space rover, I get taken over
By aliens twice every week.
It's getting quite boring, the others ignoring
My eyes glazing up like a freak.
I know I'll get captured, I can't say I'm raptured,
And though I can always get free
It bugs me for hours that my awesome powers
Are never that helpful to me.
For yes, I'm a telepath, innocent telepath,
Elfin-faced telepath I,
A sweet-natured telepath, high-minded telepath,
Ever so priggish and pi.
I'd like for a brief time to drop all this sublime
Performance and start being me.
To stop quoting sayings and get on with slaying
The scum in the great galax-ee.
To show I'm courageous and wild and outrageous,
Get squiffy or rat-arsed and stoned.
But fans would attack it and viewers not hack it,
And so I must suffer alone.
Because I'm a telepath, beautiful telepath,
Little lost telepath I,
Just like a telepath, typical telepath,
Gods+ACE- What a terrible bind+ACE-
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 18:19:47 -0000
From: "Julie Horner" <julie.horner@lincolnsoftware.com>
To: <blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re:[B7L]hodge-podge - Avon's manners, so to speak
Message-ID: <01be538f$9c4440a0$170201c0@pc23.Fishnet>
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Neil said:
>Ah, but by confessing to trolling I was actually disguising
the fact that I
>wasn't really trolling at all. And I wasn't, really. I
meant what I said
>about Avon - there's nothing particularly intolerable about
his behaviour,
>1st/2nd season at any rate. Admittedly his sarcasm is
tempered by the with
>which he delivers it, and the fact that he is usually right
in what he says,
>regardless of the way he says it.
I agree with Neil, he may sometimes be sarcastic, arrogant
and stubborn
but noone in the crew appears to be particularly put out by
it, that is they
are all well able to cope. They either ignore it or they
give back as good as they get.
>As I recall, he made two overt challenges to Blake's
self-appointed
>authority, both in the 2nd season (at the start of
Redemption and at the end
>of Trial), and in both cases it was not a public challenge,
but privately to
>Blake. I think some people might be confusing this private
Blake/Avon
>dynamic with the public Avon.
I see Avon's challenges to Blake as a necessary and healthy
contribution,
rather than being purely negative. If anyone is in a
position where their
authority and decisions consistently go unquestioned then,
however good
and true their aims, they are in a dangerous position.
Either they could
start to see themselves as infallible and fail to examine
their decisions and
plans as closely as they should, and/or they have to cope
with the additional
pressure of knowing that the entire burden of decision
making is on themselves
with no checks or suggestions from those they lead.
On a smaller scale one can experience this in a work
situation where any significant
piece of work or design you produce has to go through some
sort of review process.
If you recieve lots of critical feedback it may be a pain to
take it on board
and perform the necessary rework but, at the end of the day,
you feel more confident about the finished piece of work.
Avon made Blake justify and explain his actions but this is
surely only fair and proper.
Julie
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 09:29:18 +0100 (BST)
From: Judith Proctor <Judith@blakes-7.demon.co.uk>
To: Lysator List <Blakes7@lysator.liu.se>
Subject: Re: [B7L] Refractions on the Net
Message-ID: <Marcel-1.46-0208082918-d07Rr9i@blakes-7.demon.co.uk>
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; CHARSET=US-ASCII
On Mon 08 Feb, Joanne MacQueen wrote:
> I've done the Jean Graham story already, but I suspect that I'm just a
> sucker for a Jean Graham story (her web site is bookmarked on my
> computer at work). But Judith's "Elegy For The Seven" is in front of me
> now, and I rather like it, particularly the final stanza, which sums up
> the series quite well (I'll take the liberty of quoting, and hope Judith
> and Kathryn don't mind too much):
No I don't mind. I wouldn't have been willing to see Refractions on the web
otherwise. I might have objected if the zine was still in print on paper, but
even then, quoting a single verse wouldn't bother me.
I'm glad you liked the poem.
>
> A E Houseman is not a poet I've worked my way around to reading yet, so
> can I ask which poem (if it was only one) that inspired it, Judith?
'Epitaph on an army of mercenaries' The first two verses of what I wrote are
mostly Houseman wih a few small changes. The later verses are all mine.
These in the day when heaven was falling,
The hour when honest men had fled,
Followed then the outlaw calling,
Took the risks and now area dead.
Their shoulders held the sky suspended,
They held off evil for a day,
Whom fate abandoned, these defended,
Survival was their only pay.
Time will seek to judge as heros,
Those who heard no clarion call,
Fear and vengence gave them foes,
Who else might not have fought at all.
History will ascribe them virtue,
Claim them for a nobler cause,
Every deed with good imbue,
And say they fought to end all wars.
If you recall with strong affection,
Those who lived and laughed and cried,
Do not call them good or evil,
Simply call them those who tried.
>
> I'd comment on Kathryn's poem "Migration", which is part of the same
> file, but I have a problem there that no amount of printing will cure.
> This problem will recur as I keep reading - I've not seen some of the
> series that inspired some of the stories and poems! Never having seen an
> entire episode of Highlander is going to make that crossover of yours a
> bit difficult, Kathryn, but I hope that I enjoy it as much as I enjoyed
> the Sapphire and Steel/B7 crossover in issue 2 (never having seen any of
> that either <sigh>).
That's nothing <grin>. I enjoyed the Remmington Steele/Highlander crossover
and I hadn't seen *either* series.
I'm going to be really blatent and quote another poem of mine from Refractions
#1. Please note that Rudyard Kipling should be credited for about 90% of it, if
memory serves me correctly. (Kipling doesn't get half the credit he deserves.
Many people who slag him off have never read him.) To me, it sums up all the
reasons why we write fiction after watching the series.
I have eaten your bread and salt,
I have drunk your water and wine,
The deaths that you died I have watched beside,
And the lives that you led were mine.
Was there aught that I did not share
In vigil or toil or ease, -
One joy or woe that I did not know,
Across the starry seas?
We have written the tales of your lives
For a sheltered people's mirth,
In a different guise - but you are wise,
And you know what the tale is worth.
Judith
--
http://www.hermit.org/Blakes7
Redemption 99 - The Blakes 7/Babylon 5 convention
26-28 February 1999, Ashford International Hotel, Kent
http://www.smof.com/redemption/
--------------------------------
End of blakes7-d Digest V99 Issue #55
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